Trying to write a newsletter-style blog post, now that I am sitting by myself waiting for the rain to stop in a random Starbucks near by my gym place. 

Today is a Wednesday, and Wednesday is my work-from-home day. I went to an eye doctor earlier today with my mom and my sister, and separated myself because I initially planned to go to the gym. But works pile in and I figure I feel less anxy if I sit down in solitude first, I guess. 

I try to mentally-digest these past couple months, where I deactivated my Instagram. If you follow blog you'll figure that I always come here everytime I deactivate my Insta. A pattern? A kebiasaan?

Not complaining.

So these are the things that I keep coming back to every time I deactivate my Instagram:

1. My Blog

I mean it's a no brainer. Less attention sucker—not consuming content in small bites—less creative fatigue. I am always coming back here to check with myself and to write. I figure I love writing. Instagram is just.. it feels like everyone are watching. Blog is just.. Quiet. Like Pinterest. No one is saying anything or being super responsive to your writing. Feeling slightly obscure..? 

2. Lone time at Cafe/Local Starbucks

I used to spend my downtime checking Insta and updating Insta? Now I splurge on overpriced coffees without the need of telling the world? Hello?

3. My Art-Instagram with Limited Friends

I still have Instagram—a private one that only follow art account. TBH this way I feel more inspired to create things! And not create "content" to be seen. You know what I mean?

4. BeReal

I love seeing updates from my friends and family from over the world. It's just whenever I am on Insta I kinda forget about this app.

5. YouTube

I mean—Youtube is not really social. It is still time consuming tho. However I installed a recommendation videos blocker and I can pick and choose which videos that I wanna consume :) 

6. My urge of creating something. My creativity? 

Again just my theory—but if you are not that exposed to the world or being a target of Ads and unlimited products/self-promotion on Instagram, you'll feel less tired and just having an abundant level of creativity juice flowing down your veins. And it's kind of important for me to do something creative, or else I'll be a whack—depresso mode or whatever.

7. My attention to little detail. Weather? 

It's coming back. I swear. I remember the color of GrabCar that I took, instead of just mindfully enter the car and zone out to my mobile phone screen.

8. My lack of curiosity about what's going on in the world

IDK if this is good or not, but I am less reactive to what's going on. I question things and having more energy to RESEARCH instead of blatantly believe what's popular or what currently trending on my Instagram.

9. Feeling Isolated, but not really

Yeah I kinda feel isolated sometimes. But I know those who I love or who are important to me are still living and thriving. And we got WhatsApp to directly hello em. 

10. My Time

My time to be reflective, to write, to do things, to be bored, to wash my dishes, to enjoy some mundane things. I just feel like I have extra 2 hours without having to wake up at 5. So, that's a win?

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That's it. There you go. Just random brain dump on a weekday.

Btw. I think my workplace suits my nature at the moment. Love everything about these jobs! The riweuh-ness, the included-but-not-that-included part of my work (I am a studio manager at both design and architecture studios atm—so technically I am always involved, but not that involved that I have to create the design. You know what I mean?). And the fact that I work at two offices, with two sets of bosses and colleagues, just kinda adds to the fun part.